Perplexed

I have been home in Kansas since Christmas to spend time with friends and family before officially moving out to Georgia.  Naturally I decided to visit Derby High school (where I graduated) to watch an all day wrestling tournament. I was sitting with the Derby wrestlers when a young, yet intelligent man named Reid Ditmer asked me a question.Reid is a freshman wrestler for Derby high, he’s probably 5’3 with dirty blond hair, a personality that can encourage crowds if wielded correctly, and a joy that radiates off him. I was describing a few things from some of my journeys when he asked in a curious form “Is being a missionary fun”. Instantly my mind had a million thoughts, then like  an overloaded circuit it shut down. So I answered his question in a nonchalant way while trying my best to avoid actually answering.

Reid accepted the answer and let it go, however for me this question burrowed in and latched on for a long ride. Have I had fun doing Mission work? Absolutely. Do I love what i do? Certainly. I have been doing ministry/ Mission work for almost two years now and I have seen things of such beauty they can’t be accurately articulated. I’ve also  seen things that break my heart. See, this question got me because I have had fun doing mission work, but that wasn’t the question. The question was “is being a missionary fun” which is asking is it actively fun to be a missionary. That’s where I get stuck because it isn’t actively fun all the time, which no sane human would expect it to be. So, my mind turned to numbers and logic, the next question I asked myself to try to get an answer is do I have more times that are fun or times that aren’t? Again this was difficult to answer and spiraled my mind even deeper into this question. I am still thinking about this question and it’s been a few busy days since I was first asked it.

This question is very difficult for me to answer and allow me to explain why, for every great beauty there seems to be sorrow that comes with it. For every person The Lord allowed me to become friends with and build community with overseas I had to say goodbye to them and 98% of those goodbyes were goodbye forever.  I would leave these places with a heart full of sorrow that I won’t get to see them again, yet also with excitement for where I’m going next and with how God is moving. I have done things that people envy, things most won’t ever get a chance to do. For example, pulling teeth in India while working as a dentist during a huge medical camp we had for the people, I have hiked a two day journey in the lower Himalayas to reach remote villages where we brought people to know the Lord, Me and my team performed healings through the holy spirit and watched as people that were sick and dying became healthy.

I had the honor of planting seeds of the gospel in a witch doctor in a remote village that is in the jungles of Nepal. The only Christian family in that village was being persecuted, kicked out of their own family, and hated. I’ve ran into short term missionaries in Pacasmayo Peru where I made two dear friends named Troy clemmer and Scott Turner, where I shared my testimony one night while just hanging out which helped bring Scott to accept the Lord. I have shared the Gospel where it is illegal to. I have spread Love and Joy.

I have seen things that most try to avoid ever seeing. Families starving, kids who are living on the street, how leopards are cast out of society sent to live away from everyone else. kids who are naked because the families can’t afford enough clothes. communities who have to walk miles just for water whole cities that bathe in, wash clothes in, and drink from a severely polluted river. Kids who have to be careful or they will be abducted and sex trafficked. I have seen students not able to go to school because they have to work all day so their families may be able to eat that day which after a 10 hour work day they only get $4-$5 for the entirety of the day.

For almost every experience that fills me with Hope and Joy there is one that breaks my heart and fills it with sorrow just 15 steps away. All of this adds up to a stressful mess all while missing family and friends back home. Being on the mission field is definitely beautiful but also harder than most think it to be. Honestly I believe all ministry to be difficult just because of how much you pour out doing it. So I guess the only way I can honestly answer the question that was proposed is like this, I would not trade what I do for anything and I have had ample opportunity to take jobs where I would be making more than just an honest wage, however one must have grit and perseverance if they wish to be a missionary and if they are capable of staying strong and pushing through the good and bad alike then they to will see the beauty in which we do. Then and only then will they experience Joyful sorrow that fills you and breaks you.

 

Hey Guys thanks for joining back in for this Blog I know I haven’t posted in about 8 months… oops, I’m not going to make excuses for this I just didn’t make it a priority and that’s on me I forgot how much I enjoy it. For the last half year I have been part of a leadership/ Discipleship program called center for Global action, I have been equipped with the tools to lead and guide others well, this has prepared me for all future trips i am going to be doing. In June of 2020 I will be leading a trip of about 6 people to Ukraine for 3 months and Peru for 3 months, but before I start fundraising for that it’s absolutely necessary that I finish fundraising for my last program I still need to bring in about $2,900. If you want to join my team and donate to what I do you can find the donate button to the left of this blog everything donated is 501c tax deductible. Please help me continue to do what God has called me to and what I love to do.